Hi! How very fitting that my first post is on April Fool’s Day.

I just wanted to get this initial post out of the way and behind me. For some reason I feel a little nervous. I used to blog a few years ago.  I sometimes pull that blog up and try to read through a few posts.  It feels like I am reading about a stranger, and I’m suddenly jolted when I see pictures of my family and I.  I don’t recognize “her” at all.  I am so unbelievably different and far from who I used to be. I miss her. I envy her, and at the same time I pity her. The innocence and happiness was…

Anyway, I am starting this blog because I want and need to heal.  I recently read a book called Opening Up by Dr. James Pennebaker. He mentions the benefits of writing in order to heal.  It’s written from the perspective of all the studies and research he has done on groups of people, and their beneficial results.

I am recovering from my husband’s affairs. I am exactly (to the day) 7 years and 4 months out from finding out.  We went through about 6 months of trickle truth, and the last of it came out about 5 years after. Gotta love trickle truth. ;0/  Hence the title/address of my blog. I found myself repeating that question over and over for the first 6 years.

So many blogs I have read were started a few months or weeks from finding out. I guess I’m a little late to the party…that seems to be my life theme. lol

One of the healing steps I have not experienced is anger.  I went through all the stages, just way out of order.  My husband has been telling me to write for the last few years, but I just wasn’t feeling it.  The thought about writing now seems to be stirring up anger.  I feel it bubbling up write under the surface.  The thought of letting this anger loose absolutely terrifies me.  I have experienced little pockets of anger that last anywhere from 15 minutes, to a day, but then it’s gone…or rather I stuff it down in order to function.

So here’s to healing!!

~me